I received this letter from a reader. It should give you a lot to think about. It's in reference to my recent column,
Wolves in Shepherd's Clothing, and emphasizes my point that this is not just a priest problem - it's a potential problem among any who work with children or youth. The writer of this letter is a youth minister in a Catholic parish:
In my present position I have been upbraided, publicly confronted at church, vilified through a global e-mail for one decision, and only
one.
Not whether the youth ministry program was doctrinally sound, appropriate, balanced, etc.
No, I was taken to task for firing a volunteer within weeks of accepting my position. A volunteer who felt called by God to youth ministry as he chose to serve. Who thought it was "cute" to have adolescent girls sit on his lap at an event. Who would take a select group of youth out in the woods at 2 am with no other adults to "play" -- after he was directly told, in front of the youth, not to. Who was indignant when I told no more one-on-ones in private with the youth.
It was clear to me that this behavior indicated someone with a problem, at least lacking in sound judgement, at worst, more malicious ideas in mind. I did what I knew my responsibility to the sacredness of teen life calls me to do -- remove him from the program.
Thank God the new pastor backed me up. We lost over half our youth over this individual -- he's quite a charismatic fellow -- ingratiates himself to teens when the family is in crisis -- does any of this sound familiar?
Since the kids "like him" and the parents "appreciated the shoulder to cry on", he was allowed to continue. No longer.
The youth are back, stronger than ever. It was a tough year.
Youth ministry has to be about building up youth and families in the Church, not dividing and destroying. As I have done a few times in my short career, if the volunteers aren't there, we don't go, we don't proceed. The lives of the teens entrusted to our care are too precious to be compromised.
Do you get it? There's something very profound in what she's saying. Many elements of the church, from youth ministry to diocesan vocation directors get desperate, and reach a point where they will take anyone who walks through the door and says they don't have a criminal record. As this brave woman points out, we can't do that. We have to always be committed to doing the right thing, even if it means risking our "programs" and yes, even if it means even more priest-less parishes. Why do we have to take this risk? First, because we don't want child and youth predators working with our kids. Secondly, when we're strict with who our leaders are, all we'll have left is the best, and that does nothing but build us up in the long run.
It also points out the necessity for parents to open their eyes as well. There's something not quite right with an adult who really gets into hanging out with your 15-year old son or daughter. Don't see that desire as a positive quality. It's not.